Recently- from my birthday- i got a text from my ex bf- who i love dearly. Anyway we met up and had a good giggle= and seemed like old times. We even kissed, though both agreed to being friends. Anyway two weeks of being just friends he has slipped back into the bad habits of why we broke up- laziness, no attention, ignoring phone calls and text messages.
Now i know- he isn't the one, and cant love me as much as he says. But what do i do?
Do i text/phone him and say hes a prick and it over
or play him at his own game and ignore him?
Aggh
Please comment
]]>i work up with alarm with morning- i got tax info from america. for going to camp last year i had to get a social security no, so getting that was like woooaaah do i owe em money?? lucky i didn't.
I also got a letter from bubbles in Idaho, who i went to camp with- saying thats she's getting Married 
Shock, but pleased!
]]>R (waitress) then told me that everyone in the place wanted to go- and they already had their number set, when R said
shouldn't you really be sending v (ie me) considering shes practially bar supervisor?EEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP dudes how long have i been there!!?
Anyway i did go- and got free breaky- and it was way good- and a bit scared when my bar supervisor said
i have never been to one of these....]]>
i paid camp america today- though slightly confused on their sums 
oooowell
lounged about today- finished the Micheal Jackson Autobiography and itching to get my mits on something else, and decided to read Johnny Cashs- at the moment is it going on about picking cotton and i'm surprised how thin the book is for such a life.
Still pj's- work has phoned me- suspicious.........
]]>and decided i need to really a)learn to drive b)pay of bank overdraft humm.........
Anyway, i have now left the office job, thank god! it made more tired than my bar job! The good thing is that through that i have paid and got extra for my trip to america in the summer yay 
I am now itching to go
i have also got a result from the university regarding my PGCE and that i have managed to get an UNCONDITIONAL PLACE!!! i dunno how that happened- especially as i didn't get good vibes at all!
Apart from that i went upto brum to visit a uni friend of mine (J)- good to be out for a few days, visited the Sealife centre and saw very cute fishys- turtles were the best bit by far!
i also bought a bag that looks like i have skinned an ewok..... J's dog was confused and properbly though it was one of the cats.
]]>Have decided i am going to get married this year- dunno who to, but that is my plan!
]]>So i recently bought the new sony mp3- check the page out to see the sexyness:-
Any i love it! But..... its slow to burn CD's and plus i had to uninstall MGJukebox (which is sonys) which i had used with their Mini Disk i had. So i've had to start from scratch! Including having to type into all the track info.
Also i cannot believe the amount of crap to download from the web, so i can buy music from their connect service. *it makes my head hurt* I know downloading is very popular, i would use it buy songs i know i am not going to buy the artists album- but this really has put me off.
I expect things to be simple- why can't they be simple?
Anyway i still love it- and i suppose will get it to a fine art of importing music on to it.
]]>hehe
]]>oh well- the thing is if i dont get this this i im not sure what i would do. Im not even 100% if teaching is something i want to do either. I just have this pressure to have a real, good paid job.
And a new waiter has joined our resturant..... tasty....zero bar is not 25's it's 21! yay
]]>Anyway i remeber vaguly telling you about a cute engineer- huum a did a bit of detective work- okay asking a friend- he has a girl friend!!!! any way i do fancy blokes now which is good, but they all seem to be attached or married! This is very wrong!!
and also NOT fair
]]>I work in an office in between my bar work, today how ever was the first time i actually did both jobs! I am so tired but extremly proud that i've managed to stay awake!
]]>??
I dont mind the delay- but being ill and bored, time goes far more slowly and i cant watch any more 'triple play' on TMF music channel either!
Appently they are awaiting 'allocation' that means they have none of my first choices in grr!
]]>you sound like a man!
great.
so now i feel and look like shit.
I hate this.
http://www.dh.gov.uk/PolicyAndGuidance/HealthAndSocialCareTopics/Flu/fs/en
I want my mum
]]>I spilt up with my ex last january, and well it was messy and painfull- before in the past i would of solved this problem by sleeping around. But i didnt.
The due to the break up i flew off to America to work at a summer camp- a girl scout summer camp- no men for 3 months.
And well after that i couldnt be arsed. I havent made much effort on going out to
PARTY
But now i have started a new job at the cocktail place and made some friends.
Plus i have started to fancy one of the engineers at the office job i have 3 days a week.
MY GOD HE IS SOO FIT! i havent fancied some one for like ages and now i feel like i silly 14 old with a crush! Doesnt help one of my best mates work there too- so if i confess she'll say something and i'll be depressed/rejected if he doesn't like me back, or he already has a partner.
Am i being too cautious?
]]>Anyway we girls have decided where to go for new years- Zero bar. We have never been there before on a night out, but already i am fantasing meeting a dream hunk. Especially as its over 25's and we are 22. So i feel like i better start toning up taking care of my skin so i can (hopefully pull)
]]>I have taken up another job, in an office part time. I use to work there and they need help for a few weeks in the admin department so i work there too as well as the bar. Which seems to take all the employees for a ride.
So apart form that i am good- Christmas is comng and i cant be bothered!
]]>I vibrator might be bought, fuck i dont want pink plastic i want a man, someone to talk to!
oh dear...
]]>The bar boy, is annoying the hell outta me though- hes just soo slow and boyish. He's 18 coz hes waiting to go to university- but i can really feel the age difference. Even though i have no problems with some of the waitresses who are like 17
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
]]>Work is going ok- getting sick of the bus- on the way to work- i get the bus around 4pm. So i miss the school kids, well on that day i didnt get to. From my house to work there was 3 boys- 3! it sounded like there was 7!! they were really noisy, and shouting and being annoying. On a bus (and any form of transport you just wanna mind your own business) i just wanted to get to work! i didnt have a clue what they were talking about- even though you could hear everything. It was like they were talking another language. Also i have noticed that kids, repeat the same few word at the begining of their sentance'
'She said she said she said no'- What?
Bleugh!
I feel so old!- i'm only 22!
]]>A. We were having a halloween party on a certain day and have fun- were not - unlike my local
B. Given extra funds to dress up for Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. (bit of a bummer if you have shifts all weekend!)
C. Given ideas what we can't wear due to health and saftey- The bar is quiet small- i couldnt like wear a tail or a cape say.
D. Told about weather we can be a bit risque.
So i am not going to dress up- i know its a bit of a stick in the mud- but i have enough problems wearing an apron and a waistcoat! But i would love it if it was
'okay saturday is going to be halloween for us- you can dress up and have fun'
]]>I remember in Uni we had a cocktail place- where they had their menu all over the walls of the bar- which mine seem to go everywhere, and they served the cocktails in pint glasses. No fancy business fruit - and for £3.50 you felt you were give a bargain!!
The MSN boy text me this morning- saying that maybe it wasnt a good idea to visit as it would only be for a few hours (he said 4)
i replied saying (considering his train gets in about 12ish and leaves about 7) that really it was 6 hours and that surly seeing me for a few hour would be better than none and that i was mad at him.
He replied saying he is going to visit - as he didnt realise how upset i was going to be about it, and agreed that seeing me for a few hours was better than nothing.
He havent had a reply to my YAY text.........
]]>The job is going okay, i was on the bar by myself- it was hell- who thought to put the newbie on her own??! I am now sozzled and my feet really hurt! All i think is that it won't be long to chiristmas then you New year and i can start looking for another one. I feel i have to give this a real go other wise i feel like i have failed. Plus one i know the ropes and wouldn't feel like a idiot all the time i might (just might) enjoy it. Thing is i am on my own again tomorrow- and so i won't be able to settle my nerves.- What a dunce.
Update on the luvuvure
Well i have been for the past few weeks been speaking over MSN with a guy i kind know from uni- we have both confessed we fancied each other- but did nothing about it, until a drunken fumble the last term of the third year. Now though- a year on we've been getting along great and hopefully will meet up on Saturday in London to see how it goes! and it'll be nice to finally move on properly from the boy.
Keep you all posted on that one.
]]>I am glad i am kinda being sociable again though! i want to open up my heart to this blog, but feel there is far to much story. i feel my heart is still broken, and i knew someone new to heal it.
I'm such a sad case!
]]>I told him that maybe its time to knock this 'thing' we have on the head. Me do like him, but i dont think hes the man for me..... Wont is i was too harsh?
Work at the cocktail place again was a little slow, to be honest i am a little bored.
Saw the Magic roundabout today though http://www.the-magic-roundabout.com/main.html i was pleasntly surprised. Robbie williams as Doogle was a bonus 
Tonight was ment to be 'ladies night' and therefore quiet busy, hum it wasn't is was a little well.... dead.
Oh well see what it's like tomo- Friday!! ARGHHH!
Men:-
Haven't heard from the boy, which is very good and i deleted his number, YAY ME
Policeman, is texting me (went out with him in my uni days) and he's asked me out (sunday)- YAY!!
]]>soon i'll be like Tom cruse...... oh yeah, except a girl. 
Also found some very pretty sites on the web, i love postcards, and have been collecting them for ages- where ever i go i buy a postcard or collect a business card. This sight has been very inspriational and moving.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
Keep up the work x
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